Pickleball partners

BRADENTON BEACH, Florida – I am all in for any game that involves staying out of the kitchen. Of course, I’m speaking of America’s fastest-growing sport: pickleball.

Yes, the one with the funny name that your perpetually suntanned uncle or 70-ish grandmother who looks 50 plays. Those in the know say it’s easy to learn, fun to play and highly addictive.

You may consider it beneath you to play something named after a Cockapoo called Pickles, but hear me out.

Even TV host Ellen DeGeneres declared herself among the sport’s biggest fans, proudly known as a “pickler.” She brought it up on her show last fall with perplexed guest Gayle King of CBS This Morning:

Ellen: “Have you played pickleball, Gayle? I love it! I’m obsessed with it. It’s the fastest-growing sport in the country.”

Gayle: “Fastest-growing sport in the country, Ellen? Really? Pickleball? I’ve never heard of it.”

If it’s good enough for Ellen, it’s good enough for me.

On Friday, Rebecca and I learned to play pickleball – and lived to tell about it. The game doesn’t require a lot of skill or training, so we knew it was perfect for us. We played again today.

Addicted? Absolutely.

Our first lesson was from our snowbird buddy Joe of Bellefonte, Pennsylvania, just 12 miles northeast of State College. That’s home of the Penn State University Nittany Lions, who kicked butt when they played the University of Michigan and Michigan State University last season. (Which Joe was quick to remind us before our lesson.)

Joe plays pickleball just about every morning while he and his wife, Sandy, are here. He was patient and kind with us, and no doubt needed a little something extra in his coffee when he got back to their condo. He admitted we both had potential and didn’t suggest we take up bowling.

“It’s all about strategy, placement and pace. Don’t hit it too high, or you’ll get smashed,” said Joe, who proceeded to slam it directly at my feet. “What did I just say?”

In pickleball, players use a Wiffle-style ball and paddles about twice the size of ping-pong paddles. Pickleball has five basic rules, which are the same, whether you’re playing singles or doubles:

• The ball must stay inbounds.
• There should be one bounce per side.
• Serves must be hit underhanded at the baseline, without bouncing the ball off the court.
• The serve must clear the net and cannot land in the no-volley zone, a.k.a., “the kitchen.”
• Most games are played to 11 points and must be won by 2.

Any sport with no dress code, and a court and net where you can serve underhanded and not be mocked is a keeper in my book.

After the ball is served, it must bounce at least once on each side before you can volley. This is known as the dreaded “double-bounce rule.” It is the hardest one for me to remember, along with how to keep score. Whoever decided that process must have been smokin’ something illegal.

In pickleball, unlike tennis, only the serving team can score. You receive points when the opponent faults (e.g., fails to return the ball, hits the ball out of bounds or does a header into the net while trying to return a dink shot).

So much for maintaining social distancing.

Then you pick up your newly scratched sunglasses, say “4, 3, 2, 1 … whatever” with confidence and serve again. My pickleball partner, Cathy of Grosse Pointe Woods, Michigan, kept silent and stayed 6 feet apart.

As a lover of sports that involve a racket, net and ball, I’ve missed racquetball and tennis. Not sure why I stopped playing over the past 25 years, other than I worked way too much and moved way too little.

Once I retired seven years ago, I figured I’d make more time for everything, including exercise, but somehow that didn’t go as planned. A second heart surgery in 2018 to repair a leaky mitral valve, binge-watching Netflix and packing on the proverbial “Quarantine 15” pounds to my post-menopausal frame set me back.

So, I decided to set reasonable goals during our five-week Florida visit this winter: eat better, move more and learn to play pickleball.

According to the USA Pickleball Association (yes, it’s a real thing), the game is the fastest-growing sport in the country with the number of participants up 100% in the past two years to 3.5 million players.

“It’s an addictive sport, since it is so social. Games are short, and you can play with different people and mix it up,” said my friend and official Pickleball Ambassador Sue Donlin of Naples, Florida. “I love coaching, especially beginners, so I can watch them laugh and giggle!”

The game began in 1965 on Bainbridge Island, Washington, a short ferry ride from Seattle. Three dads (former U.S. Rep. Joel Pritchard, Bill Bell and Barney McCallum) whose kids were bored in the summertime are credited with creating it, combining elements of badminton, ping-pong and tennis.

According to Pritchard’s wife, Joan, who was a competitive rower, she started calling the game pickleball because the combination of different sports reminded her of the “pickle boat in crew” where oarsmen were chosen from the leftovers of other boats.

She lost me at pickle boat leftovers.

McCallum said the game was officially named after the Pritchards’ dog, Pickles the Cockapoo, who would chase the ball and run off with it.

I’ll go with that one. Good thing her name wasn’t Fluffy.

And remember: No serving in the kitchen, picklers.