Cutting the cord

First thing’s first, my friends: Welcome to 2020.

I swear I can’t write that iconic phrase without hearing Barbara Walters utter her signature opening line for “20/20,” the TV newsmagazine she anchored for a quarter century. Hard to believe she’s 90.

Speaking of television, if one of your goals for this new year is lowering monthly expenses, here’s a tip: Ditch your cable.

We cut the proverbial cord last summer. Best decision ever. Other than deleting my Twitter account.

Cut to a recent scene in our family room:

“Honey, what’s on TV?”

“Nothing.”

“There must be something. We have like a thousand channels.”

“Nothing. Zip. Nada. It’s a wasteland.”

Seriously? Hundreds of channels and nothing is on? Jeez.

Reminds me of a Bruce Springsteen song from 1992:

"Man came by to hook up my cable TV
 We settled in for the night my baby and me.
 We switched 'round and 'round till half-past dawn
 There was 57 channels and nothin' on."

From "57 Channels (And Nothin' On)"

After much kitchen-table deliberation, Rebecca and I decided to ditch traditional cable TV (we had AT&T U-verse) and try streaming. But first we had to look it up. (OK, Boomer.)

I thought streaming had something to do with the leaked Steele dossier. (It’s unverified, but you never know about raw intelligence reports.) Rebecca naturally assumed it had something to do with bladder control. (She said I could say that.)

Actually, streaming is a technology used to deliver content to computers and mobile devices over the internet. Streaming transmits data, usually audio and video, as a continuous flow, which allows you to watch or listen almost immediately without having to wait for a download to complete.

Think of it this way: When you download an app or buy music from the iTunes, you must download the entire song before you can listen to it. In other words, streaming delivers data to you as you need it. And live streaming is used for delivering internet content in real time as it happens.

Clear as mud? I know.

But streaming lets you start using the content before the entire file downloads. Like when you play a song on Spotify, you click on and can start listening almost immediately.

I can’t tell you how many times we’ve called Comcast, AT&T or whatever company gave us the current best deal over the years practically begging them to reduce our rate. Seems playing the “I’m-a-retiree-on-a-fixed-income” card has lost its luster.

Well, chew on this, greedy cable providers: We chose streaming.

Turns out that smooth-talking WOW sales guy Rebecca let in the house against my better judgment that summer afternoon knew his stuff. I was hoping she would agree to switch cable providers so we could save a few bucks.

Instead, we chose the whole enchilada and said hasta la vista, baby to AT&T and all of its bundles, and we’re saving more than $100 a month! No cable wires, rented boxes or tangled cords behind the TVs.

And with our HULU + Live subscription ($45 a month), we can watch live local channels, network shows and our favorite sports, lousy Detroit teams notwithstanding. Netflix and Amazon Prime Video round out our television experience at reasonable monthly rates.

Bueno.

(I’m not sure where this italicized Spanish is coming from. Perhaps it’s because we recently watched “The Two Popes” movie on Netflix. I’m still a fan of Francis, even though he swatted that overzealous pilgrim’s hand.)

How’s life without traditional cable TV?

Rebecca was lukewarm to the new setup, but now she’s on board, except when the remote gives her fits while she tries to find a show.

If she says “sugar,” her go-to cuss word, more than once, take cover. Maddie and I have heard minimal “sugars,” and certainly not enough to sour this sweet deal. As for me, all I have to say is muchas gracias.