Tell me more

“It was impossible to get a conversation going. Everybody was talking too much.”  – Yogi Berra

“Tell me more.”

When’s the last time you heard that? Or were asked what you really thought about something important in your life?

I don’t mean a tweet, text or email. Not by phone either. I’m talking in-person, face-to-face conversation when you answered meaningful questions, such as: What do you like best? What makes you laugh? Who do you enjoy spending time with?

Your answers might surprise you.

Just in time for the holidays, there’s a card game from the Netherlands called Vertellis, which means “tell us more” in Dutch. 

The object of the game is simple: Turn off your phone, and reconnect with those around you by asking each other in-depth questions. That’s it.

The directions contain a cautionary note: “Playing may cause memorable moments and genuine connection.”

In this game, everybody wins.

Who knew that deep conversation was the antidote to saving us from ourselves and the key to regaining our mojo for getting to know each other better?

I’m pretty sure we already knew this and were too busy shopping online.

Rebecca and I bought Vertellis, but we haven’t played yet.

Actually, we purchased several, so it’s quite possible you’re getting one as a gift this year.

With Hanukkah looming and Christmas coming, it also might be the perfect time for a much-needed digital cleanse.

Author Tiffany Shlain calls it a “Technology Shabbat,” based on Judaism’s observance of a weekly day of rest. But the point of a Tech Shabbat is to take a conscious break by going completely screen-free one day a week.

That’s right. No smartphones, computers, tablets or TVs. It will force you to step back to an era when spending time on things that take time was part of the pleasure.

And you will likely need to get a landline and dig up that old Timex watch.

Shlain wrote a book about Tech Shabbat called 24/6: The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week.

“In the same vein that I practice yoga and meditation—but I’m not Hindu or Buddhist–I really hope that people will engage with this idea of a Tech Shabbat as something that can make your life better and bring great meaning and purpose to it,” she said in a September interview with the Washington Post.

“Instead of looking at it as a day without your phone, look at is as this: What are all the things that you have more time to do? And fill your day with that,” she added.

For some of us, a temporary unplugging from those ubiquitous electronic devices may be just what the doctored ordered to reset life’s priorities.

My sister Corky did it on Thanksgiving, purposely leaving her phone at home before heading out to the annual family dinner. No texts, no emails, no calls.

I had some questions for her:

So, this turkey day Tech Shabbat, was it difficult?

“Not at all. It made total sense that on a day we celebrate our gratitude for so much, it can include not feeling the need to share goofy YouTube videos. Conversation didn’t lag, the kids played together, and it’s fun just to sit back, observe and listen. Those moments turn into wonderful memories.”

It was easy then?

“Not completely, but I realized that the most important people in my life were either with me or knew where I was. Totally concentrating on the people I’m with should always take precedence.”

Could you do it on a regular basis?

“Pretty sure I could.”

How did it make you feel?

“Disconnecting was liberating.”

Liberating.

It’s no secret that she has advocated unplugging for some time. Phones, for example, aren’t allowed at her dinner table. They go in a bowl.

Just ask her grandchildren, who oblige, unlike some adults who don’t and shall remain nameless.

Did I mention Gramma Corky is hosting Christmas Day?

Wish me luck.