{"id":4318,"date":"2023-11-20T20:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-11-21T01:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/?p=4318"},"modified":"2023-11-29T12:48:35","modified_gmt":"2023-11-29T17:48:35","slug":"three-funerals-and-a-pizza","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/three-funerals-and-a-pizza\/","title":{"rendered":"Three funerals and a pizza"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What\u2019s on your<\/em> calendar? Perhaps it\u2019s my maturity or the generation of most of my friends and family, but lately I\u2019ve had more doctor\u2019s appointments, physical therapy visits and drive-thru pharmacy pickups than date nights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, and funerals. Last week I attended three. It was rather unnerving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong. I\u2019m grateful to be here to attend these celebrations of life and pay my respects to some outstanding people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But facing my own mortality as I wind down in what is my \u201cthird act\u201d of life, I find that I am not done yet, and I intend to savor each and every day.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

Aside: I\u2019ve got to say, one troubling aspect of this third act business is how I\u2019m getting closer to resembling my parents \u2013 and those silly yet engaging Progressive Insurance commercials.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve seen them, I\u2019m sure. The ones where \u201cparental-life coach\u201d Dr. Rick (portrayed by Bill Glass) is on a mission to save people from turning into their parents. Even for me, muter of all TV ads, these are just too good to fast-forward through:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  • Texting: <\/strong>\u201cIt might be a fruit emoji, but that doesn\u2019t mean they\u2019re talking about fruit.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Posting:<\/strong> \u201cDo you really think we need 47 photos of \u2018fun dinner at Pam\u2019s\u2019\u201d?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Security:<\/strong> Dr. Rick to homeowner cleaning and ID\u2019g his trash cans: \u201cSo you put your address and phone number on here?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    That last one gets me every time. Not that there\u2019s anything wrong with that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Each of the three funerals I attended last week affected my heart. They made me weep and smile and count my blessings \u2013 and not only because we\u2019re approaching Thanksgiving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    There is a phrase those of the Jewish faith say to mourners when a person dies: May their memory be for a blessing.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    It is an expression of hope. When we say that phrase, the blessing implied is that it is up to those who bear their memory to keep their goodness alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Keep their goodness alive. <\/em>I like the sound of that. Let’s start now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Robert Spencer Turner<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    May 4, 1948 ~ November 9, 2023<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

    Rob, our neighbor across the street, was married to his wife Jane for 48 years. A retired United Association Local 636 pipefitter, Rob was a kind man with a wicked sense of humor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I met Jane about 10 years ago after I knocked on her front door to tell her that I\u2019d accidentally hit their mailbox. Trashed it, really. And the left rear quarter panel of my SUV.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cHi, I\u2019m Jennifer from across the street, and I just mowed down your mailbox.\u201d (Nice icebreaker.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Jane looked at me and in all seriousness said that it was too bad her husband wasn\u2019t home. Seeing me sweat, she quickly added: \u201cBecause he would have gotten a real kick out of it! Do you known how many times that mailbox has been hit?\u201d she said laughing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    After a brief illness, Rob passed away on November 9. He was 75. Rob adored his family, especially his two grandsons, Luke and Kenny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    On November 15, a funeral Mass was held for Rob at Guardian Angels Catholic Church in Clawson, Michigan. The church was filled with family and friends, and those who worked with him for so many years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I\u2019ll miss Rob and think of him every time I start up the RV. Although he never, ever entered the Beast, as we like to call it, Rob loved to drive long distances. And he knew if he set foot in that 24-foot motorhome he\u2019d want to buy one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So instead, he kept a close eye on us from across the street. \u201cThe Girls,\u201d as he called us, watching for clues that we were planning another trip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    RIP, Rob.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Linda Kaye Powers<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    May 2, 1942 ~ October 28, 2023<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

    Linda was an old friend of Rebecca\u2019s from back in the day. I didn\u2019t know her well, but she was a lovely woman with the bluest eyes you\u2019ve ever seen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    She was a kind, quiet and unassuming woman who loved her animals \u2013 such lucky fur babies! \u2013 taking care of people and tending to her condo in Rochester Hills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The last few months of her life were difficult. She was in and out of hospice care, rebounding each time when most people thought, \u201cOh, no, this is it.\u201d Guess she wasn\u2019t ready to go. Unfinished business and all that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Toward the end of her life, Linda had several visitors who made her feel loved. It was a testament to how she had treated others that they showed up when she needed comfort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    On November 17, Linda\u2019s graveside memorial service was held at Roseland Park Cemetery in Berkley. Her sister Chris gave a wonderful eulogy about how much her sister loved animals, sports (including the Detroit Lions!) and how she was a caregiver to many, including their parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    One interesting aside was that Linda had posted 3×5 cards in various nooks and crannies throughout her condo with handwritten sayings and quotes she loved. Such words of wisdom as these:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    • \u201cBe good to people. You will be remembered more for your kindness than any level of success you could possibly attain.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
        \n
      • \u201cIt\u2019s not what you gather, but what you scatter that tell you what kind of life you lived.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

        Following the service, her family held a luncheon at Alibi of Troy, a restaurant known for its pizza, to celebrate her life. Linda loved Alibi pizza.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Linda passed away on October 28. She was 82.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        I\u2019ll miss her and the kindness she brought to those who had the privilege to know her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        RIP, Linda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Joseph Gerald Sayers<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

        September 8, 1942 ~ October 29, 2023<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n

        \n
        \"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

        Joe was an educator in Warren Consolidated Schools and a principal at the same high school I graduated from. He was named Macomb County Principal of the Year in 2000-2001. Later, after retirement, he taught classes at Wayne State and Oakland universities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        I didn\u2019t know Joe, but his wife, Julie, is a friend of mine from my past volunteer work at Assistance League.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        On November 18, a Memorial Mass was held for Joe at St. Andrew Catholic Church in Rochester, Michigan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        His oldest brother, Father Ray Sayers, gave a heartfelt eulogy tracing Joe\u2019s life from a young boy growing up in Ferndale to a talented teen-ager playing high school sports at St. James.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Being a teacher was Joe\u2019s gift, and he was revered by his students.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        After numerous health struggles, Joe passed away on October 29. He was 81. Above all else, Joe loved his family and friends. He had two grandchildren, Logan and Layne.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        RIP, Joe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        ***<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Recalling my own parents\u2019 funerals \u2014 just five months apart \u2014 doesn\u2019t make me as sad anymore, the way it did when their passing was so raw. For mom, it was December 2008. Then May 2009 for dad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Of course, I still miss them and wish they were here, particularly to see their 11 great-grandchildren grow up to become good humans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        The simple fact was that after 64 years together, my father couldn\u2019t live without my mother. It wasn\u2019t a perfect marriage. They argued early and often, and had their complicated mutual dance of silence down to a science. Sometimes it lasted for days, even weeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        But once the dust settled \u2014 and it always did \u2014  their foundation of love remained. Only death could break it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        I like to think they\u2019re up there somewhere looking down sending good vibes to help guide us through our days.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        And I\u2019m certain that over the past 15 years, I have felt Mom\u2019s caring hand on my shoulder and seen Dad\u2019s loving gaze in my mind’s eye on more than one occasion when I needed them most.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        May their memory be for a blessing.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Tonight, we\u2019re keeping goodness alive and ordering an Alibi pizza.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        What\u2019s on your calendar? Perhaps it\u2019s my maturity or the generation of most of my friends and family, but lately I\u2019ve had more doctor\u2019s appointments, physical therapy visits and drive-thru pharmacy pickups than date nights. Oh, and funerals. Last week I attended three. It was rather unnerving. Don\u2019t get me wrong. I\u2019m grateful to be here to attend these celebrations of life and pay my respects to some outstanding people. But facing my own mortality as I wind down in what is my \u201cthird act\u201d of life, I find that I am not done yet, and I intend to savor each and every day. Aside: I\u2019ve got to say, one troubling aspect of this third act business is how I\u2019m getting closer to resembling my parents \u2013 and those silly yet engaging Progressive Insurance commercials. You\u2019ve seen them, I\u2019m sure. The ones where \u201cparental-life coach\u201d Dr. Rick (portrayed by Bill Glass) is on a mission to save people from turning into their parents. Even for me, muter of all TV ads, these are just too good to fast-forward through: That last one gets me every time. Not that there\u2019s anything wrong with that. Each of the three funerals I attended last week affected my heart. They made me weep and smile and count my blessings \u2013 and not only because we\u2019re approaching Thanksgiving. There is a phrase those of the Jewish faith say to mourners when a person dies: May their memory be for a blessing. It is an expression of hope. When we say that phrase, the blessing implied is that it is up to those who bear their memory to keep their goodness alive. Keep their goodness alive. I like the sound of that. Let’s start now. Robert Spencer Turner May 4, 1948 ~ November 9, 2023 Rob, our neighbor across the street, was married to his wife Jane for 48 years. A retired United Association Local 636 pipefitter, Rob was a kind man with a wicked sense of humor. I met Jane about 10 years ago after I knocked on her front door to tell her that I\u2019d accidentally hit their mailbox. Trashed it, really. And the left rear quarter panel of my SUV. \u201cHi, I\u2019m Jennifer from across the street, and I just mowed down your mailbox.\u201d (Nice icebreaker.) Jane looked at me and in all seriousness said that it was too bad her husband wasn\u2019t home. Seeing me sweat, she quickly added: \u201cBecause he would have gotten a real kick out of it! Do you known how many times that mailbox has been hit?\u201d she said laughing. After a brief illness, Rob passed away on November 9. He was 75. Rob adored his family, especially his two grandsons, Luke and Kenny. On November 15, a funeral Mass was held for Rob at Guardian Angels Catholic Church in Clawson, Michigan. The church was filled with family and friends, and those who worked with him for so many years. I\u2019ll miss Rob and think of him every time I start up the RV. Although he never, ever entered the Beast, as we like to call it, Rob loved to drive long distances. And he knew if he set foot in that 24-foot motorhome he\u2019d want to buy one. So instead, he kept a close eye on us from across the street. \u201cThe Girls,\u201d as he called us, watching for clues that we were planning another trip. RIP, Rob. Linda Kaye Powers May 2, 1942 ~ October 28, 2023 Linda was an old friend of Rebecca\u2019s from back in the day. I didn\u2019t know her well, but she was a lovely woman with the bluest eyes you\u2019ve ever seen. She was a kind, quiet and unassuming woman who loved her animals \u2013 such lucky fur babies! \u2013 taking care of people and tending to her condo in Rochester Hills. The last few months of her life were difficult. She was in and out of hospice care, rebounding each time when most people thought, \u201cOh, no, this is it.\u201d Guess she wasn\u2019t ready to go. Unfinished business and all that. Toward the end of her life, Linda had several visitors who made her feel loved. It was a testament to how she had treated others that they showed up when she needed comfort. On November 17, Linda\u2019s graveside memorial service was held at Roseland Park Cemetery in Berkley. Her sister Chris gave a wonderful eulogy about how much her sister loved animals, sports (including the Detroit Lions!) and how she was a caregiver to many, including their parents. One interesting aside was that Linda had posted 3×5 cards in various nooks and crannies throughout her condo with handwritten sayings and quotes she loved. Such words of wisdom as these: Following the service, her family held a luncheon at Alibi of Troy, a restaurant known for its pizza, to celebrate her life. Linda loved Alibi pizza. Linda passed away on October 28. She was 82. I\u2019ll miss her and the kindness she brought to those who had the privilege to know her. RIP, Linda. Joseph Gerald Sayers September 8, 1942 ~ October 29, 2023 Joe was an educator in Warren Consolidated Schools and a principal at the same high school I graduated from. He was named Macomb County Principal of the Year in 2000-2001. Later, after retirement, he taught classes at Wayne State and Oakland universities. I didn\u2019t know Joe, but his wife, Julie, is a friend of mine from my past volunteer work at Assistance League. On November 18, a Memorial Mass was held for Joe at St. Andrew Catholic Church in Rochester, Michigan. His oldest brother, Father Ray Sayers, gave a heartfelt eulogy tracing Joe\u2019s life from a young boy growing up in Ferndale to a talented teen-ager playing high school sports at St. James. Being a teacher was Joe\u2019s gift, and he was revered by his students. After numerous health struggles, Joe passed away on October 29. He was 81. Above all else, Joe loved his family and friends. He had two grandchildren, Logan and Layne. RIP, Joe. *** Recalling my own parents\u2019 funerals \u2014 just five months apart \u2014 doesn\u2019t make me as sad anymore, the way it did when their passing was so raw. For mom, it was December 2008. Then May 2009 for dad. Of course, I still miss them and wish they were here, particularly to see their 11 great-grandchildren grow up to become good humans. The simple fact was that after 64 years together, my father couldn\u2019t live without my mother. It wasn\u2019t a perfect marriage. They argued early and often, and had their complicated mutual dance of silence down to a science. Sometimes it lasted for days, even weeks. But once the dust settled \u2014 and it always did \u2014  their foundation of love remained. Only death could break it. I like to think they\u2019re up there somewhere looking down sending good vibes to help guide us through our days. And I\u2019m certain that over the past 15 years, I have felt Mom\u2019s caring hand on my shoulder and seen Dad\u2019s loving gaze in my mind’s eye on more than one occasion when I needed them most. May their memory be for a blessing. Tonight, we\u2019re keeping goodness alive and ordering an Alibi pizza.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4317,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[196],"tags":[227],"class_list":["post-4318","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-me-in-23","tag-three-funerals-and-a-pizza"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4318","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4318"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4318\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4336,"href":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4318\/revisions\/4336"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4317"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4318"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4318"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/heartmattersblog.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4318"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}